Proposing Dreams Wedding & Events

Q & A - Final Guest Count

Q - What number do I tell my cater? Should I plan for extra just in case?

A - Check with your cater, but most have it in their contracts to have 3%-5% more than you requested. In most cases your number of extras will balance with your no shows. Yes, you will most likely have no shows due to one thing or another. Consider just a few extra plates if it makes you feel more comfortable. Don't forget those fabulous vendors who spend the whole day with you - they gotta eat too! Full bellies make happy vendors and that makes happy couples!! In the grand scheme of things don't they deserve to eat just as much as your third cousins boyfriend with the tattoos and nose ring? Just kidding!

Q & A - Directions to the Jewel Box

Today our Q&A came from a groom a few weeks ago when he was given the task of making out directions to and from their Jewel Box wedding.

Q:

Oh, One question! Do you know of any directions from Lumiere Place to the Jewel Box and Jewel Box To Windows on Washington. Since the Jewel Box technically doesn't have a street address other than Forest Park, I just want to make sure the out of towners have no problem finding their way there.

Paul

A: For directions to The Jewel Box use the intersection of Wells & McKinley Drive, mapquest recognizes it.

Click here for the directions to or from the Jewel Box.

**Note Mapquest also recognizes the I-64/40 closing which can be very important with timing!

Feeding and Tipping Vendors

                       

As the season kicks off I have been getting asked about feeding and tipping vendors again...Who do we tip & how much? Do we need to feed our vendors and if so who?

Read this post from Sept 07' for more information Feeding and Tipping Vendors

Sabrina

Q&A - Invites

Sabrina,

I'm not sure if you have the answers to these questions or if there is someone else I should ask, but I thought I could try asking. On the response cards.....what should the date be for the requested reply? Is there a return address that goes on the response card, or is it just my address on the front? Also, are pew cards normally sent or is this something that people don't do anymore? I have been reading my Emily Post Wedding etiquette book, but couldn't find these answers.

Thank you!

Amy

Amy -

a) Invites should be mailed 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding. The RSVP date should be 4 weeks prior.

b) Do you mean a return address as in the guest address? No, just your mailing address for them to be returned.

c) Honestly I have never heard of a pew card. I just got out my trusty Emily Post Weddings (16th edition btw). Wow, pew cards are a great idea!! I wonder why this went away. I so often have clients ask how do my family members know where to sit. I generally tell them it's word of mouth and they should tell the ushers they have VIP seating but this is much easier. Go for it if you have more to worry about than the traditional parents and grandparents for special seating.

Best Wishes & Happy Planning!

Sabrina

Q & A - Escort or Placecard?

repost from www.stlwed.com

Q: What is the etiquette with escort/seating cards? Do you do one per couple? One for each half of the couple? Should I call to get the "& guest's" name to put on the card?

A: First a little background:

An escort card is customarily displayed on a table near the entrance. Guests pick up the card when arriving at your event. Escort cards inform guests as to which table they will be seated at. - to "escort" them to their table. Place cards are different from escort cards in that they are set at each placesetting. Place cards inform your guest as to which seat they should take at their table. Escort cards are what are commonly used at a wedding due to the large numbers. Place cards are used for a smaller affair when you want people to sit in specific seats to encourage conversation.

Do you have one per couple or one per person?

For buffet or for all the same meal it's up to you. UNLESS - you have asked them to pre-select their meal. Because the staff needs to know what each person has chosen for their meal. You can show this choice in different colored ribbon, stickers, cards, etc. I actually had one bride put little stickers of chickens and cows on the cards. Consider a sign or “designated person” to man the escort card table to instruct guests to please place the escort card at their seat to indicate to the staff of their meal choice. Also provide your catering staff with a list that indicates there are “6 Chicken and 2 Beef at Table 1” for each table.

How do you know who wants what meal when they mark 1 Chicken and 1 Beef?

You don't...you can generally assume the woman wants chicken and the man wants beef but if you are wrong, they’ll will just swap plates.

Should you call to get the "& Guest" name?

If there is a chance that you might know the guest, have met them since sending the invite or they have dated a while you should try to get the name. If it was just to allow them to bring someone with them then a place card with "Guest of John Doe" is perfectly fine.

Best Wishes & Happy Planning!!
Sabrina Torti - Proposing Dreams

Q&A - "and Guests"

Look at me posting from my vacation!! Not really I'm a planner, I planned this early.

So with many of my clients getting ready to mail invites and asking what about "and Guests" -

Q: My fiance and I are paying for most of our wedding and we are on a tight budget. We would like to invite as many people as possible, which makes it tough to invite singles with guests. Is it acceptable to invite single family and friends but not include "and guest" on their invitations? My fiance says we have to allow people to bring a guest out of courtesy. I just don't want to eliminate people just because we're obligated to let them bring a guest that we can't afford. What should we do?

A: This is different for each and every couple. Take one invite at a time. If you know the "and guest" has been a long time companion then add the "and guest". Actually if you know them well enough you should get a name. But if budget or space dictates, you may not be able to add the "and guest" to some of the single friends. Most often your single friends have meet each other in some other setting, if not at least sit them together to spark communication - heck you might spark a new relationship.

Q&A

Q. How do I establish and stay within a budget?

A. First budgets don’t just happen. Whether you have $5,000 or $50,000 to spend there is generally some analysis of how you came to that number. Starter questions; Who’s paying? How much? For what? Weddings are paid for in many ways. Today’s couples aren’t always following the old fashion rules of brides parents host the wedding, grooms parents host the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon. Sometimes it’s a 3 way split, sometime everybody just does what they financially can and the funds are pooled together, sometimes it’s all paid for by the couple. So the first place to start is talking with everyone and deciding what you have to spend. They expect the conversation – don’t procrastinate! Be honest with them; ask them to be honest with you.

Once you have set your total, start with your priorities. The first thing I have a client do is rate the following eliminate of their wedding:

Please rank the following with a 1-5 with 1 being "nice but not expensive", 5 being "I'll spend whatever to have the best" (NA means you are not using):

Decide what is most important to you and your fiancé and start getting pricing. Remember you are not always comparing apples to apples, sometimes its apples to oranges because of packaging, style, quality. If something is really cheap compared to others there might be a reason, some cases your willing to over look this flaw or difference for the cost savings. Remember that just because it’s the most expensive doesn’t mean its top quality, either. Judge by your gut and if it’s not the right price and you’re not feeling it, check out more.

Here is just an idea – EVERY and I mean EVERY wedding is different. But because I know you aren't planning these everyday like us you may not even know where to start. Here is what to expect in the St. Louis area, by my experience…no national survey, no online resource, just my experience with over 350 weddings. And my disclaimer continues…obviously these numbers can vary based on location, needs, time of year, etc, etc, etc.

Ceremony Location: $0 - $2500
Ceremony Music:  $0 - $800
Stationary: $500 - $2500 (postage alone can cost you $150)
Your Dress: $500 - $5000
BM Dress(es): $100 - $250
Hair & Make-Up: $75 - $180 per person
Flowers: $500 - $5000 (average size wedding, average needs expect around $2500)
Transportation: $0 - $1500 (couple and wedding party only)
Photographer: $1500 - $5500 (make sure to get the time you need and walk away with an album)
Videographer: $500 - $4000
Reception Location: Venue $500 - $2500 (average $2000)
Food & Alcohol: Dinner $20 - $150 (average - $50), Beverage $10 - $25 (average $16)
Reception Music: $500 - $2500
Cake: $500-$1000
Decorations: $500 - $5000
Accommodations: $125 - $500
Setting aside $500-$1000 for miscellaneous.

How could I forget - Wedding Coordinator: $500-$5000

Shameless plug – remember a wedding coordinator can help tremendously with getting the right cost, balancing your wants and needs, and maybe even a few repeat business discounts with vendors. Proposing Dreams also offers budget analysis to be added to one of the smaller packages if your budget doesn’t allow full or partial planning.

Good Luck!! Sabrina

Q&A - Attendants

Attendants

Q: Would a divorced woman still be considered a matron of honor or a maid of honor?

A: Traditionally, the matron of honor is a married woman and the maid of honor is a single woman. So, a divorced woman is really “single” and should be a maid of honor. (Also, it’s ok to have two maids on honor, by the way.) In some cases a bride will choose to have a maid and matron. Generally the maid of honor’s role take precedence, but some brides divide the duties equally. Either is fine, as long as it’s clear who does what.

Q: I have a matron and a maid of honor. Should my fiancé have two best men or a best man and an “honor attendant”?

A: Even though you will have a matron of honor and a maid of honor it’s not necessary for your fiancé to have two best men or or a best man and an honor attendant. Just one best man is fine. During the recessional, you can have the best man escort both your attendants down the aisle, with one on either side of him.

Q: My fiance’s “best man” is his closest childhood friend – a woman. We’d like to know what she should wear at the wedding and any idea’s for the wedding party’s walk down the aisle and position at the altar.

A: With many couples opting to have a woman as the best man and a guy as the maid of honor, questions naturally arise as to the proper wedding attire and procedures. When it comes to clothing, the good news is that there are several options to choose from. Your fiance’s friend can wear the same style dress as the bridesmaids, but in a different color to distinguish her role as the groom’s honor attendant. Instead of carrying a bouquet, and in lieu of wearing a boutonniere, consider giving her a wrist corsage. Another option: If the groomsmen wear black or tan tuxs or suits, have her wear a black or tan dress.

We had another wedding this past summer where the bride and groom had a mix of males and females. It did work out with the numbers to create equal pairs for both sides. The ladies all wore “bridesmaids” dresses and the guys all wore tuxes. We have another couple who will have 6 bridesmaid and 3 groomsmen, so they will “double” up on the exit. Really you can work anything out – have the people you want stand up with you no matter what their gender is!!

How many ushers?

Q - How many ushers do I need?

A - Rule of thumb is 1 per 50 guests. But it's really ok to have whatever you want. If you don't have enough men to give the role or you already made them all groomsmen they can double as ushers. As don't forget you can have ladies as usherettes too! I think it's nice to have a "host couple" that greets guests at the ceremony and the reception. Guests feel like these people must know what's going on and will turn to them if they have questions.

Guests who don't RSVP?

Q - What do I do with guests that don't RSVP?

A - Call them! Have someone other than you or your immediate family do it. Your wedding coordinator, your friend, your boss (just kidding). You need to call these guests and not assume. While you are up on wedding etiquette some guests just don't know that you are relying on their response. They may have forgotten about RSVPing or just assumed you would know they were coming. Some may have other plans and are afraid to tell you that. Having someone else call means you are more likely to get a honest answer about their attendance.