Proposing Dreams Wedding & Events

to be engaged....first seminar Oct 3rd

Feeding and Tipping - Repost

Every year I get asked this question and as the fall wedding season is approaching it's coming up again. So here is an oldie but goodie...

I feel very strongly about feeding vendors and current tipping policies or suggestions.

Meaning that I do encourage my clients to feed thier vendors that are spending the whole day with them. Really it's not required it's just polite!

Tipping I believe should be completely voluntary and if you feel it's warranted. I don't agree with the "gratuity charge" already included with so many venues because I know that it doesn't go to the staff that worked all night for it. But since I can't make that policy go away - here are my thoughts on tipping in general.

My original post from Sept 07 with some updates:
Feeding and Tipping Vendors

I have been avoiding this blog topic because I don't want it to seem as though I'm asking for food or tips but it's has always been a repeated question from my clients and recently even more, so I'm adding it now.

Here is my take on tips based on experience and communicating with vendors...it's not exactly what you would find in the big book of rules:

First the definition of gratuity - "something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service."

Start by checking your contracts most times transportation and catering will already include gratuity. I personally don't think that gratuity should be automatically included but with an entire catering staff it would be hard to take care of everyone.

Gratuities are generally given to those who provided a service not necessarily a product you are purchasing. Gratuities are appreciated by everyone and deserving to anyone whom you felt went above and beyond. The suggested amount of 15% is a good starting place but isn't always reasonable with wedding totals. In my experience the amounts vary but generally are in the $25-$250+ range per person. Cash is great, but check is acceptable as well.

Bottom-line....tips are a sign of your appreciation for their services. If you don't feel someone earned the tip then it's not necessary, if you felt someone went above and beyond then your tip will be appreciated. Even if they are the owner of the business, often small business owners aren't making a lot as they are covering all the overhead. Again, not that I am personally looking for tips, but I have had clients say "I heard you don't tip the owner of a business" when frankly they are working their tails off just as anyone else and often making less. So many wedding vendors are small business owners who trully appreciate your token of appreciatation. BUT again, they are not required and a simple thank you note goes along way.

Feeding Vendors....
Again check your contracts; some vendors now require a meal. Not only a meal but the same meal the guests are eating and in the same room with the guests.

There are many reasons for this....wedding day events don't stop...therefore no lunch breaks. If something spontaneous would happen it is important that the vendors are in the room with the rest of the action. Vendors are working a minimum of 8 hours most times therefore a meal and place to sit are greatly appreciated.

As for serving them the same meal that your guests are having it is because the "vendor meals" provided by some locations aren't always adequate. Generally you will have 2-6 vendors that will need a meal. In most cases you will have 6-8 guests who thought they were going to be attending but couldn't for some reason. You shouldn't have to actually order additional meals for your vendors. Ask any vendor that will be spending more than 8 hours with you if they would like a meal. Also note if you are paying for a meal for your vendor, that they should not be included in the alcohol count, they should not be drinking alcohol.

A place to sit down all of our gear and take a seat but see all the action is perfect. A separate vendor table, in the corner, near the wall, near electrical outlet is always a plus. It doesn't have to be decorated like the other tables. This allows us to jump up at any moment and attend to, photograph, or video anything that is going on that might not have been planed or started without your/our knowledge.

As always if this sparks any additional questions please don't hesitate to ask! If there are any questions on a different topic I would love to hear that too!!

Best Wishes & Happy Planning!! Sabrina

I feel very strongly about feeding vendors and current tipping policies or suggestions.

Meaning that I do encourage my clients to feed thier vendors that are spending the whole day with them. Really it's not required it's just polite!

Tipping I believe should be completely voluntary and if you feel it's warranted. I don't agree with the "gratuity charge" already included with so many venues because I know that it doesn't go to the staff that worked all night for it. But since I can't make that policy go away - here are my thoughts on tipping in general.

My original post from Sept 07 with some updates:
Feeding and Tipping Vendors

I have been avoiding this blog topic because I don't want it to seem as though I'm asking for food or tips but it's has always been a repeated question from my clients and recently even more, so I'm adding it now.

Here is my take on tips based on experience and communicating with vendors...it's not exactly what you would find in the big book of rules:

First the definition of gratuity - "something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service."

Start by checking your contracts most times transportation and catering will already include gratuity. I personally don't think that gratuity should be automatically included but with an entire catering staff it would be hard to take care of everyone.

Gratuities are generally given to those who provided a service not necessarily a product you are purchasing. Gratuities are appreciated by everyone and deserving to anyone whom you felt went above and beyond. The suggested amount of 15% is a good starting place but isn't always reasonable with wedding totals. In my experience the amounts vary but generally are in the $25-$250+ range per person. Cash is great, but check is acceptable as well.

Bottom-line....tips are a sign of your appreciation for their services. If you don't feel someone earned the tip then it's not necessary, if you felt someone went above and beyond then your tip will be appreciated. Even if they are the owner of the business, often small business owners aren't making a lot as they are covering all the overhead. Again, not that I am personally looking for tips, but I have had clients say "I heard you don't tip the owner of a business" when frankly they are working their tails off just as anyone else and often making less. So many wedding vendors are small business owners who trully appreciate your token of appreciatation. BUT again, they are not required and a simple thank you note goes along way.

Feeding Vendors....
Again check your contracts; some vendors now require a meal. Not only a meal but the same meal the guests are eating and in the same room with the guests.

There are many reasons for this....wedding day events don't stop...therefore no lunch breaks. If something spontaneous would happen it is important that the vendors are in the room with the rest of the action. Vendors are working a minimum of 8 hours most times therefore a meal and place to sit are greatly appreciated.

As for serving them the same meal that your guests are having it is because the "vendor meals" provided by some locations aren't always adequate. Generally you will have 2-6 vendors that will need a meal. In most cases you will have 6-8 guests who thought they were going to be attending but couldn't for some reason. You shouldn't have to actually order additional meals for your vendors. Ask any vendor that will be spending more than 8 hours with you if they would like a meal. Also note if you are paying for a meal for your vendor, that they should not be included in the alcohol count, they should not be drinking alcohol.

A place to sit down all of our gear and take a seat but see all the action is perfect. A separate vendor table, in the corner, near the wall, near electrical outlet is always a plus. It doesn't have to be decorated like the other tables. This allows us to jump up at any moment and attend to, photograph, or video anything that is going on that might not have been planed or started without your/our knowledge.

As always if this sparks any additional questions please don't hesitate to ask! If there are any questions on a different topic I would love to hear that too!!

Best Wishes & Happy Planning!! Sabrina

Informing a vendor that you have chosen someone else...

It is very important (especially during this the booking season) to follow-up with vendors you meet when you have made a selection. Not only to quickly inform the chosen vendor to lock in you booking as dates are going fast this time of year but the ones you didn't so that they may open the date again or offer it to an awaiting client. As in the Q&A below I have on occasion asked a client to provide us with any constructive information about why they chose another vendor. Sometimes it's just about who you click with or cost or services available but if there is something some can approve upon and they are a professional business they will appreciate the critique.

Q. My fiance and I recently met with a number of caterers. We had four tastings, and the winning caterer turned out to be the last one we saw. I now have to tackle the dreaded task of saying "no thanks" to the other caterers. They were all great and quite amazing in terms of service, so I want to handle this correctly. What exactly should I say to them? Should I call them or write an email? If they ask me which caterer I chose instead, should I tell them?

A. While you are not obligated to contact potential wedding vendors after meeting with them, it is a courtesy that they would all appreciate. This prevents them from spending any more time on you after you've already committed to another vendor, and it also gives them the opportunity to ask a few questions, for instance who you went with and maybe even why. This gives a vendor an idea of what is going on in terms of the business in their area. If you want to answer their questions, do so and be honest; if not, just tell them you'd prefer not to say. An email is perfectly fine just to keep them informed. Say "We appreciate your time and information but we have chosen another vendor."

10 Reasons to hire a wedding coordinator...

With the holiday’s just past and Valentine's Day just around the corner....couples are getting engaged left and right. This means its booking season! Also brides that were engaged last year realize "Oh Man! I'm getting married this year I better get on it!" So, we and many other great vendors are going to start filling up.

Need a little help to convince yourself or fiancée or family why having a wedding coordinator is a great investment for your wedding day - here are 10 reasons!!

Ok, so maybe we are a little biased, considering that we are professional wedding planners. However, we believe in what we do, and we have seen many beautiful wedding under our direction.

1) Piece of mind
Stress is a big part of any wedding. A wedding planner can help alleviate the stress by helping you with the most difficult parts of a wedding. They can also be someone to vent to and a voice of reason.

2) Avoid the business side of wedding
A wedding planner can handle all the business details like negotiating the price of tent rentals, making sure the limousine company isn’t charging too much and tipping your vendors at the reception. Not to mention just the details of what to order and from whom, do you really need that and don't forget to order this.

3) Leverage networking relationships with vendors
Locating experienced, trustworthy wedding vendors can be time consuming and expensive. Wedding planners have extensive lists of qualified vendors that they have used many times. At Proposing Dreams, if we are ever offered a special discount or rate we pass that on to you.

4) Help keep focus
With all of the responsibility that a wedding brings, it is not hard to lose focus. A wedding planner can help you keep your focus with timelines and task lists.

5) Help with creative ideas and fine details
Wedding planners have seen many different and unique weddings. An experienced wedding planner is a great resource to bounce ideas off of. Also keep you from recreating costly ideas that may have flopped in the past.

6) Time management – time is money

The average wedding can take more than 250 hours to plan. With today's hectic lifestyles, you may not have time to compare all the options and make sure you get the best deal. If you can take your planners advice and instructions you can shed hours and hours off planning a wedding alone.

7) Money savings
While it is possible that wedding planners can get you discounts through some of their contacts, the real value comes by letting a wedding planner review your contracts. They read contracts every day, and they can help you avoid hidden and unnecessary charges as well as help you negotiate.

8) Professional quality to wedding – Taken more seriously by vendors
Working with a wedding planner is like having an experienced manager in your corner that can handle any situation that might occur. Should a problem arrise, we can more effeciantly and effectivly handle it than your Aunt Kay or Cousin Sally.

9) Wedding Budget – Keep your eye on the prize.
Wedding expenses can easily get out of control if you are not careful. Wedding planners have checklists and spreadsheets that can help you set and monitor your budget. They can also be your sanity check when you are considering how much to spend on certain items.

10) Enjoy family and friends on your wedding day and during the planning.

Prior to the wedding day there are too many chances for too many opionions and therefore judgement on your wedding planning. Save your sanity but hiring a professional advocate that will honestly tell you when you have great ideas or it's not worth the fight.
Last but not least, a wedding is a day that is meant to be enjoyed and spent with family and friends. With a wedding planner running the show behind the scenes, you can be assured that it everything will work out fine on your big day without your involvement.

We have a large number of pending contracts right now and will be posting closed out dates soon. Please schedule a consultation asap and lock in your date.

Now is the time to book appointments. We have a few weddings over the next few months but weekend will be open for appointments as well as Tues, Wed, Thurs.

I am proud to announce that that we have our entire staff of 7 coordinators are returning for this season along with Cassie our office manager and Stephanie our newest intern. We are excited to offer a fantastic team to help more and more couples have amazing and successful wedding days!!

Best Wishes and Happy Planning in 2010!!

First 10 steps to planning your wedding…..by Sabrina Torti

1) Propose or be proposed to....this is a given right??

2) Announce to family and friends that you are engaged - enjoy the celebration before the planning begins.

3) Talk with parents about finances! Where will they come from, who wants to contribute what - THIS IS IMPORTANT!! No one should start planning without a budget. Try to get a dollar amount rather than – I will pay for "blank" - This will allow you to retain control over aspects of the planning. Be realistic about what you can afford to contribute.

4) Talk about time of year for the wedding, are there dates you can't have a wedding?

4a) If you can - book a wedding planner!! A planner can save you time, stress and costly mistakes.

5) Select the wedding party and ask them to be in the wedding. Talk with each other about the number of attendants you would like to have.

6) Start the guest list, with names not just guessing the number of people you think will be invited. It might be way higher or lower than you think. You also don't want to fall in love with a location that you can't fit in, can't afford because of your number of guests or would swallow your guests because it's too big.

7) Look into locations. Ceremony and reception venues can determine the date based on availability. Also like before, you don't want to fall in love with something you can't afford or later find out that your budget is blown because the guest list has grown and the per person cost is more that you should have locked into.

8) Once the venues are selected, finalize the wedding date.

9) Start researching vendors, in order of importance to you. Don't assume anything will be available or easy to get. If you have the money for deposits - lock em' in. Some of the online budget sheets have breakdowns of what percentages go where, but I don't always find this the case. Remember if photography is most important book what reasonable (see following chart) but if you really want one that is out of the budget range, then you must give up something that you aren't as concerned with having. It's about balancing what you want with what you can afford. This goes for anything. If food or location is most important then maybe you’ll have to have DJ rather than a band.

10) Start a wedding binder, tracking all information found, received, collected. Tracking all payments made or to be made. It will become your wedding world. Come into The Wedding Design Stuido and purchase one of our custom wedding binders already loaded with tips, tricks, checklists, budgeting and so much more!

10 Questions from Wedding Guests You Don't Need to Answer

I am friends with The Knot on Facebook and today’s status update was this article -  

Love it!! Here are the Wedding Problems: 10 Questions from Wedding Guests You Don't Need to Answer along with my thoughts about each one!

 

1. How much is the wedding reception costing you?

**Unless it’s your very best friend who is also planning her wedding and needs to know if she’s getting ripped off then this person is just being nosy! And honestly.... your BFF could be too! Tread lightly – it’s no ones business unless they are paying the bill or your planner who is monitoring the bills.

2. Can you make sure not to set your date for [insert date here] -- I have a vacation already planned!

**Bon Voage!! Hope you enjoy your vacation! No one should be setting stipulations on your wedding date. Maybe a siblings wedding, graduation, or due date – things that would truly prevent your closest family from being there or having to make a decision on which to attend.

3. What table am I sitting at?

**The one with chairs! The one I put you at! The one in the back hall with the dusty lampshade! The one where you are served good food and conversation! The one I paid for! These are all acceptable answers to that question.

4. Why didn't you invite [insert name here]?

**Well occationally this isn’t a bad thing a) maybe your actually did forget someone b) maybe their invite got lost in the mail and you didn’t even know it c)maybe you didn’t know so and so had been seeing a new guy for 6 months and he should have been invited. But if you knew all this and chose not to invite someone for your own reasons, then that is all the Nosy Nancy needs to know. If it’s the uninvited themselves asking – answer as honestly as possible, or blame it on the space allowance, the budget, whatever.

5. Is this really a "white wedding"?

**HA! LOL!! Do people really ask this question?? UM, geez I don’t even know if I have a smart arse come back or if I would just look at them and say “Really? Honestly? Really? You’re going to ask me that?” Then shake my head and walk away!

6. How many carats is that ring anyway?

Oh come on your jealous I mean curious girlfriends are going to ask that question! And you are going to proudly tell them the answer!

7. Who's your favorite bridesmaid?

Just them all they are your favorite. That’s what I plan to do with my kids!

8. Did you get that idea from my wedding?

Yes, matter of fact I did. You should be honored I liked anything from your tacky wedding!

9. Are you paying for any of this?

Well actually we robbed a bank, sold some blood and organs, and pawned Steve’s grandmothers furniture but yeah we’re paying for it.

10. Don't you think the six-tiered wedding cake is a bit much?

No way, we have cake for every birthday between now and next year – want some?

All kidding aside, don’t get wrapped up in rude questions or comments! Answer honestly and without emotion when you need to and confront someone if it’s becoming a problem. Simply say “Listen, I really enjoy sharing my wedding details with you but you’re bumming me out! Please if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”

Got a rude question from a wedding guest? Share it with us…

The Wedding Design Studio - Grand Opening!!

Mark your calendars.  You don’t want to miss it.  After many months of planning, Proposing Dreams is excited to announce the grand opening of The Wedding Design Studio.  Located in the heart of Maplewood, The Wedding Design Studio is a comprehensive studio offering brides complimentary access to an extensive vault of wedding resources including the portfolios of our handpicked wedding professionals, each carefully chosen based on their reputation for flawless style, innovative spirit and integrity.

Our grand opening will be celebrated with a three day open house on December 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.  Mingle with St. Louis’ most in demand wedding professionals, browse inspiring portfolios and view the latest in table top design and couture wedding décor.  Open house bonuses will run throughout the three day event including a magazine swap, color sample sets and free planning advice with a Proposing Dreams coordinator.  Hours for the Open House are Tuesday, Dec. 1^st and Thursday, Dec. 3^rd, 12pm to 5pm, and Wednesday, December 2^nd, 12pm to 6pm with followed by a happy hour from 6pm to 7pm with complimentary drinks, hors d’oeuvres and giveaways!

We look forward to seeing everyone there!

 

New Song I like....

I heard this on the radio this morning on my way in to the Studio and thought that lyrically it works for both a first dance and mother-son dance - check it out!!

Martina McBride - I Just Call You Mine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcZoNBngAnM

Thinking "inside" the Box: Guestbook

 

 

There is a new trend for guest books that does not include your mother’s traditional guest book. You know the one I am talking about a guest book with lines for the guest to just sign their names. If you are looking to for one outside of that box, you need to checkout this box by  Etsy seller Tara Lee of Cut the Cake Designs. This shop started off just selling recipe boxes but then turned them into a great fun guest box.  Each guest (or couple) have their own card to write their name and information on as well as some advice or well wishes to the newlyweds.  After the wedding, the newlyweds are displaying the boxes in their homes or offices and have a very cute address book. The Guest Box is custom designed and can take one day to two weeks to create.  Tara works with you, the bride, to design the box according to your wedding, color preferences, personality, home décor, pretty much anything you would like. She does have some premade designs to choose from as well, and if you are in a rush to get the Guest Box, she has rush order option that will get your box to you in half the time, of course you have to choose one of 14 options (which is a lot of options for a rush order if you ask me).

Not only does Tara make these fabulous guest boxes, but she also does invitations as well. Tara has been featured in Bride Colorado magazine (fall/winter 09) for her invitations.  Tara also belongs to a group called the Etsy Wedding Team. This is a talented team of individuals who create fabulously unique wedding items.   To be a part of this team more half of your items for sale must be dedicated to weddings.  Since the group was formed the team votes to accept or deny new members.  So if you are still looking for a fun and functional guest book, please check Tara at Cut the Cake Designs out.

 

Open House for The Wedding Design Studio!

If you are reading this blog you are probably planning a wedding and do we have some great news for you!

Proposing Dreams Wedding and Events is excited to announce the opening of The Wedding Design Studio; a comprehensive studio offering brides complimentary access to an extensive vault of wedding resources.  A concept seen around the country, but not yet in St. Louis… until now!

The Wedding Design Studio is a haven, a creative stomping ground, if you will, for brides to escape, kick back, and have fun planning their wedding.  Guests may browse our professional member portfolios, bridal magazines, color swatches, planning and etiquette books, and so much more!  Special events will include open houses hosted by top wedding professionals, cake tastings, mini bridal shows and networking parties with local vendors.

 

Planning a wedding should be fun, not stressful…  we’re here to make that happen! And the best part.....it's all FREE!! No where else in St. Louis can you get professional advice and access to such amazing tools with no pressure and no cost to you.

 

See more online at www.theweddingdesignstudiostl.com and please come by and check us out!

 

Bridal Open House for The Wedding Design Studio! Join us for our open house on Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 from 4:00pm-8:00pm (happy hour from 5:00-6:00 with drinks and snacks) at 3520-1 Greenwood Blvd. Maplewood, Mo. 63143.  We’re looking forward to seeing you!

 

 

Here are a few photos from our Professionals Open House, excuse my lack of photography talents:

Table Display by Aries Co

Centerpiece by Sisters Flowers

Table Stationery by Dickey Designs

Hightop Table and New High Chivaris from Aries Co

 

A little snack display by Proposing Dreams

 

Our comfy couch area

back of the Studio - that's our little office behind the screen.

 

Information Central - 40 Categories with 10 amazing wedding professional in each!